Month: June 2023

First things first, “Happy Father’s Day” to my family and friends. Also, to the future father in the family. I am so proud, so touched by the way everyone is doing. You parents are kicking ass. Brings a huge smile to my face when I think of ya’all. All my love and respect.

Now on to my “Reality check”.

I’m going to vent a little. I always try to keep a positive outlook about my life and don’t get me wrong I still do but there are times when it is trying. I know it is this way for everyone and it is not unique to me or my situation. My hardest trying times have been losses of family and friends in my life. My Mom and Dad, Mary, Aunts and Uncles, Cousins, close friends, some felt like brothers and sisters, and most importantly Diana. All of the losses hurt me but hers crushed me. It took a long time to cope with her being gone.

Back to the Reality check. I don’t mean to get distracted by the past. This last 10 days have been a slap in the face. It’s been almost a year since my little mishap in the good old USA. Prior to it I felt on top of the world and I still kind of do in a way because I really do feel blessed in all I have received. I thank God every day. The financial aspects and the physical aspects of my mishap are seemingly slapping the crap out of me or at least distracting me from any meaning.

Physically I am getting better but I need to think more about others. Yesterday I was with a group that planned a little fishing trip in the national park. I had never been to where they wanted to fish but was told it was an hour hike. Last week I went on a small hike (at a lower elevation) and got an idea how my recovery is going. I wasn’t fast but between my legs and lungs I did ok and yes it was not a challenging trail, but I took my time and it felt good. Yesterday not so much. I physically could do it, but I realized I would be too slow to keep up. I will admit that I am super careful right now (totally out of character but I did almost lose the use of my legs and I am still healing) but that is no excuse to expect a whole group to hold back. This trail was a mountain trail at over 4000m (13,000ft) and in the clouds so visibility was not great. Within a short distance I lost site of the group and went up instead of down. One of the group back tracked and waved at me, so I turned around and headed the correct direction. In a short spell I caught up to everyone that had kindly stopped to wait for me. I said sorry I had lost the trail when it was mentioned to me nicely “if you keep up that is not a problem”. Boom reality check! Just stated as a fact right then and there. I understood it totally. I should listen to my head more than my heart and think of how my actions can affect others. Note taken, just not use to it. I mentioned that I would go back and hang around the park near the car and they all said if I wasn’t going, they wouldn’t either. Ugh, reality check again, because of me a whole group changed their plans of a wonderful day hiking a fishing. We did go back down and went to a lake below to fish. It was a wonderful day but in the back of my head I knew I was a weak spoke in the wheel and it bothers me still. I cannot say enough about how sorry I felt then and still feel about it now. Very selfish of me. Most of my life I have always held back to support the weak link now that’s me. Boom again. This has shown its ugly head to me a few times when I can’t keep up in the last 6 months. Thankful that my friends yesterday though disappointed took it in stride. (better than me)

Icing on the cake is the financial reality check from the mishap. That has come to bear and has keep my mind occupied. Boom again.

You know lately I feel that I am just taking up space. Not sure what to do about it. God does have his own ways of keeping you humble if you listen. After the accident I had my eyes opened to a few things, about how I felt deep inside. What was important to me and what I needed to do to fulfill those thoughts. Funny when it seems so simple and clear. Well, you tackle those thoughts and take action. I have made changes, spilled my heart even more (some family and friends could have done without this), done made plans that if I passed today or had something similar as my little mishap last year happened, I would be at peace. That being said I need to find peace living. I will be ok. Now smile.

Good news that on the bike my short comings are mainly my lungs. I will work on that.

Have a wonderful day ya’all.

After thoughts…………..

I know not my usual update and this is not a rant about feeling sorry for myself. More like thinking about getting slapped and what is next in this adventure. It has almost been a year since my misadventure and added with the above it makes you reflect on it all. Funny after all the stupid crap you do someone else almost does you in. Fact is if I had never woken up I would have never known. Fact is if I would had woken up without the use of my legs, I would have wished I hadn’t. My biggest fear by far is being a burden. God please just take me quick before that happens. Just a fact on how I look at life. Dad always said he wanted to go quick and he did. Maybe it rubbed off on me.

This woke me up in the sense that I put things in order as far as the priorities in my heart. If someone needs something and I can help, do it or give it. I only need air, food and not to be a burden. I want to be useful somehow and, in some way, I am feeling kind of useless now, but I hopefully will find a direction.

Wow what a rant. Sorry, I may take it down. Thanks to my family and friends past and present. You have made my life so wonderful. Yes the good and the bad and even I guess (though I am not happy about it) my misadventure. I will figure out how to deal with it one way or another.

Time for a little update. Nothing new in my life, still going to school every day. My Espanol is slow going but that’s ok. Everyone in the house here English is doing well. That’s way cool.

The family in the USA is doing well. Next month the new addition should be showing up!! Way cool. Everyone in Ecuador is doing well also.

A couple of things going on in Ecuador itself that are interesting and disappointing.

Let’s start first with the political situation. Very similar to the way congress acted in the USA when Trump was president has happened here. Instead of working to take care of the country they have spent most of the time trying to get rid of president Lasso. He has 2 years left in office so instead of putting the countries needs first and biding their time, a couple of weeks ago they decided to take a vote to remove him which they did. The president is gone in a couple of months, and they have to hold a new election. The part that is interesting to me is that in the constitution here there is something called I believe the “black cross”. That states that if the president so declares he can fire all of congress which when they fired him, he fired them. So, everyone needs to be re-elected. What a waste of time and money hence the disappointing aspect. The above is what I understand of the situation and when my friends here correct me, I will change as needed. The one thing that I would add is, I wish that after they all got fired the same people could not run for office again for five years. I afraid that the same people will be re-elected, and the politics will not change.

Now here’s the real kicker to the above. While all of the above has been happening crime such as robberies, kidnappings, and also violent crime such as killings has gone up around 300% in the last two years. Ecuador from what I understand is now number 1 in violent crime in South America more so than Venezuela or Colombia. My friends have not said much to me about it, but they talk about it amongst themselves. The people are freaked out about it for it is something they are not used to. A friend did set me up on Instagram where I can follow the local news more. I have talked with a couple of my classmates about this, and they noticed the same. Seems like if you can afford it, you just leave the country. There are many small petty thieves but the most violent are the gangs. The gangs have been around for a while, but they were along the coast where it is very bad. To me it seemed that it was accepted along the coast (just my opinion) as long as it stayed there, now no. The violence has gotten out of hand. Now the gangs are increasing the size of their territory and moving inland starting with the capital Quito, the second largest city in the country. It is not a new problem but a problem that has been growing. Many of the judges and law enforcement are involved and not in a good way and I’m sure some politicians also. Violent crime happens most everywhere. Last week a friend’s arm was grazed by a bullet during a robbery in San Francisco, California. By the way guns laws here are very restrictive which does not help because only the criminals have guns. Of course, the police and military do but are very limited in their use from what I understand. (I say from what I understand quite a bit. I am in a country with limited language skills, and I am still learning how they look at things). So, the politicians have been playing politics and letting the above become a major problem, ugh. If the people around me think it is wiser just to leave, I’m not sure where that leaves me as far as building a future here. When the elections happen, we will know which way the country is leaning. I hope not socialist. Wait and see is all we can do.

Local crime has also increased. There have been neighborhood meetings about it. Again, I hear very little about it unless it is major like businesses being robbed or people walking being robbed also. I am sure there is a lot I miss. I know when I wanted to walk home (less than a mile) on a Tuesday night for some fresh air, a friend just asked for my wallet and watch which I happily gave up because I wouldn’t need them anyway. Another friend did not want me to walk alone. Personally, I don’t worry about it too much. Be aware of your surroundings and have faith. If crap happens it is what it is and handle it accordingly. We are more conscious here about locking the house and driveway gate also. Something that a couple of years ago was not important.

Cotapaxi volcano is still smoking a little.

So that’s it, no big news or travel, well I did spend 5 days in the USA on a super quick trip. I am still physically healing a little each day from last year’s accident, so that’s good. Mentally I have a lot on my mind, kind of in limbo. A project that I had wanted to work on is on hold because of the above. I have a different project in mind but haven’t proposed it so no one has put in any input as to whether it is a good or bad idea. Goes a different direction from the original project but could be very interesting and fun. I know “not right in the head” is normal for me. Not sure what’s next, a lot to figure out.

Pictures taken in the last few weeks below.

All my love to my Family and Friends!