Some deep thoughts. The weather here has been nice during the day with rain in the evenings. Last nights April’s showers put me into a melancholy state of mind. Borigar must have noticed for my bedroom door was cracked. He would wander in and out during the evening then just came in a planted himself on the floor. For the first time ever I let him spend the night. It is 5am and he is snuggled up on the bed as I look out the window at the fog. He has been mellow like he senses I just need the warmth of his touch.
So to explain why I am feeling this way I need to start at the beginning of the month. Everything was fine with everyone and I did get my bike for some wind time. It started slowly with Elena not feeling well for a week or so then Edwin came down with a cough. They both had been working hard burning the candle from both ends on the new business. Long story short they both tested positive for covid. The hospitals here are full and currently we are in lockdown for the next 3 weekends.
Just so you know the home is now covid free and no one has needed to be hospitalized. Everyone is going to be just fine. Elena has taken it the hardest being pretty much stuck in bed for 3 weeks and very weak. She is on the road to recovery but it will take some time. Edwin was down for a couple of weeks. Weak and with a good cough but is now back to work. Mateo had some symptom’s early on and was slowed down for a week. He really did not want to admit he was sick. Same with Daniela. She has had a small cough for a couple weeks and it is slowly getting better. They are all both strong in will and body. David and I never had any symptom’s.
It was a tough month. The family did a great job taking care of each other. I tried to be helpful but the best I could do is stay out of the way. There were more than a few nights I had water in my eyes before I fell to sleep. When Elena was so weak it really hurt to see the worry on everyone’s face, especially Edwin’s. I know the feeling when there is nothing you can do for your love.
I am so happy to say that everyone will be fine! It is so nice to see the smiles returning to everyone’s faces and life getting back to normal.
For me the experience has been one of memories, thoughts of family, friends and many prayers. I really asked why not me. Why always the people I care about around me but “not me”. Of all the people I’m the one not needed if you can understand that. Please just accept that statement for how I feel about life I don’t need to be told different. I am content with my life and would give it willingly if it would help someone. Who knows maybe I will get covid later. I admit there were times while by myself I felt alone. I don’t feel that way often but this month it hit home a few times. I have lost so much meaning of my life in April over the years. This year Greg passed away and his celebration of life is May1st. I will miss him.
I hope that this has not sounded like I am feeling sorry for myself that is not how I meant it to come across. I really just wanted to put the emotions out there to get them out of my system. I have had a very rich life and hope to continue God willing.
To my family and friends I want to thank you all for the warmth you bring my heart. You give meaning to my life. You are the richness and I offer my love in humble in appreciation.
God Bless
PS. Thanks Borigar I needed that.
Thank you for sharing your heart, Randy…humility…precious in God’s sight. May He heal the family completely and restore strength ten fold to continue in the beautiful gift God gave you all there, being His light, loving each other and enjoying God’s blessings on earth.
John 4:14 But whoever takes a drink of the water that I will give him shall never, no never, be thirsty any more. But the water that I will give him shall become a spring of water welling up (flowing, bubbling) [continually] within him unto (into, for) eternal life.